Well well well… It’s that time of year again. Where all the single people are excited about 50% off chocolate sales on the 15th and when the taken people are stressing about their date ideas. I am a sucker for love, I have always wanted my love life to be perfect and I think that in turn made it not perfect lol.
While I usually try and make these grand plans and make a big deal out of the holiday, things were different for me this year. I have spent the last few months focusing on myself and being true to my feelings. This has been a bit of a roller coaster but I have really grown as a person (I think).
A few weeks ago I decided that I would spend Valentine’s Day on my own in Niagara Falls. I would treat myself to a weekend away from my daily routine. I was excited to spend time with myself but also was growing close to someone. I was nervous about inviting them to come with me, I didn’t want to be expected of anything or lead them on. It was a tricky decision for me, but after the many talks we had and how I began to feel I took the plunge and actually surprised him.
For the whole weekend I just put my worried aside, I was truly myself and was vulnerable to the person who meant so much to me. We’ve had a lot of complicated encounters over the 14 years that we have known each other but I am so glad that I finally took the chance. Not once was I nervous of them judging me, thinking I wasn’t performing well, or that I wasn’t entertaining enough. We sat on the couch, talked and laughed for hours, made out like teenagers, and simply enjoyed each other.
It has been one of the best Valentine’s Days I have ever had, and honestly one of the most amazing weekends. I feel so much closer to this person and in turn I feel so much love in return. For once I am finally receiving the love that I give and I know I deserve. It is magical to finally be happy, vulnerable, and in love.
There were so many nights I would stay awake crying because I wouldn’t open myself up to someone, I was mad at myself because I didn’t feel loved and I never really “felt” my emotions anymore. I don’t know what changed this weekend and why I finally changed my mind, but it just happened and I am so glad that it did.
I so badly wish I could explain this better, but just know that once you find your person and you open your heart to them, unimaginable things can happen. Your heart is finally overflowing with love.
Plus, who doesn’t love watching the Niagara Falls light slow cuddled up on the couch of a hotel room?